Take My Breath Away

What can I say except it's been an intense several weeks?

Work has been very busy for...reasons. This obviously isn't the venue for me to discuss any of this in-depth but suffice to say many things needed to be handled while we were simultaneously gathering with staff from around the globe for a two-week meeting with workshops and some forced socialization in the evenings.

Also and in addition I've had some evening onboarding sessions for a board I recently joined. And, man, I'm leaning into gratitude but this has all worn me the f out. Apologies for the silence. Let's call it a summer sabbatical. Hat tip to Kharunya for inadvertently shaming me back into action.

Let's see, some updates...It's official, your girl has moderate obstructive sleep apnea. My CPAP machine arrived yesterday and it feels suddenly a bit overwhelming. In this, my season of diagnoses, it feels a bit like I'm playing whack-a-mole when trying to get to the bottom of how I'm feeling physically and emotionally. I'm trying to keep expectations low for any positive outcomes from this treatment so I find myself dreading it and only able to think about how this machine will maybe IDK be with me for the rest of my life, in my suitcases and on my curated nightstand forever and ever amen. So, you know, a typical measured response. Thankfully, however, Sylvie wasn't the least bit terrified of me when I tried on the mask.

In lighter news, Bette has formed a very sweet and symbiotic relationship with two neighbor siblings down the block. They're all in and out of our respective houses all weekend these days and Sylvie is really little sistering the shit out of it (overcome with glee and belonging and then, of course, deeply felt moments of exclusion and injustice).

The younger of the neighbor kids came by the back door a few days ago unexpectedly to deliver half of a best friends heart necklace to Bette. I got a little overcome seeing their shared joy and hugs. It was so earnest and intimate that I felt almost like I was intruding while watching. I've been wanting for her to form strong relationships with friends for years and now that it seems to be happening, it's wonderful and a little bittersweet to know another piece of her belongs to someone else. I guess I just summarized parenting so go ahead and put that little gem of wisdom in your pocket.

Watching, Reading, Listening
Went down an Alice Munro rabbit hole after hearing her daughter Andrea Robin Skinner's story. If you're interested in opinions on handling the art of an awful person, you should read these pieces in New York Magazine and Brandon Taylor's newsletter. Also, this rough but necessary piece by Danyel Smith about her encounters with Sean Combs throughout her career. I also read The Husbands which my good friend Natalka summed up perfectly: "Will it change your life? No. Is it delightful? Yes!" I really enjoyed it. A great summer read. Take it on a plane or to a pool or an air-conditioned bar. I read Whale Fall next which was really good and reminded me very much of another book I adored, The Colony. Also I listened to the Night Watch and it was a great, compelling story that I haven't thought about at all since. I've now started Uprooted by Naomi Novik but haven't really gotten a foothold in it yet. Ooooh, and there was a free book table/exchange at our conference and I kind of went nuts. So a lot as been added to my TBR pile. And I still haven't read Rebel Girl. And Happy Booker Prize Longlist Day(ish)! I've only read one of these so I have some catching up to do.
With the extra time I'm spending in the car shuttling Bette to camp and myself to work and back again, I've been listening to a lot of If Books Could Kill (thank you for the rec, Becks!). If you haven't listened to it before, I highly recommend. It will make you laugh and make you smarter - what more could you ask for? The Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus episode is a standout. I nearly had to pull over because I couldn't see through the tears of laughter.
I also rediscovered this album that was dear to my heart at a very, very specific time in my late adolescence/early adulthood. (Sidenote: One of the two men who ran the record label I interned at when I was 17 would take a picture of Gaz to the barber as a reference.)

Lifting
The expectations of productivity off my shoulders on the weekend. I'm not succeeding.

Ingesting
Yet another egg-ceptional (I'm sorry) egg and cheese from 5th Ave Market, some not bad peaches and incredible plumcots from Wegman's. Courtesy of my workplace: delicious fries and chicken from Bel Fries, insanely rich and perfect Brown Sugar Espresso ice cream from Morgenstern's, many a buffet-style meal as well as a lovely dinner catered by Emma's Torch at a colleague's home. 50 mg Vyvanse; 50 mg sertraline; birth control.

Struggling
To write a newsletter consistently

Buying
Finally got my Wray store credit to work for me and ordered this this dress, which has been an all-around hit. I love it. In a big adult move, I decided to get a WaterPik and it has been exhilarating. Exhilarating. Also more puzzles.

Creating
Clean, unfolded laundry piles that would rival the very Appalachian Mountains that my mother passed her childhood amongst.

Fixating
Honey, who has the time?

Avoiding
Reality by giving the girls' bedroom a makeover, if only in my head and on my Pintrest account.

Reader, I Pinned It
Thinking hard about how to bring a little more comfort and light into our living room. For instance, here is a chair from the 1950s that is a stunning design that I can't afford and really would never even go near given that I have a toddler. Practical! So maybe something like this or this or this. And maybe a short bookcase or shelves for low level lighting from table lamps that gives this kind of warm vibe.