Vengeance is Sleeping
Hello from the Chicago Athletic Club where I find myself on another brief work trip which has me within eyesight of the The Art Institute while only here for the days it's closed. I've had a little time to myself, though, and that's been a godsend.
I would love to talk to you about plus size fashion - and I will - but I can't not write about how tired and angry I'm feeling in this moment. About how enraged I am reading unending headlines and stories about women being abused, exploited, drugged, raped, killed, burned alive and/or some combination of all of the above while I play out vigilante-style revenge fantasies in my head. How I (and most women I know) grew up being told, sometimes implicitly and sometimes blatantly, that it was my job to keep myself safe because the alternative was somehow unthinkable. Boys and men cannot be taught not to abuse, exploit, drug, rape, kill or burn someone alive so it's on us not to get raped or killed or drugged or attacked or assaulted by a wasted stranger while walking our dog within view of our apartment.
To be clear, the majority of men and boys I know are wonderful and I'm thankful that Bette and Sylvie have those friends and examples while they're growing up. Trust me, every single day I'm grateful for the men and boys in our lives.
But I've also found myself repeatedly telling Bette to pull her shirt down and pull her shorts up. Don't get caught with any part of your body exposed that may suggest to a grown man that you are to be ogled. Don't take any shit from anybody except when you feel like you're actually in danger and then be as polite and deferential as you can until you can get away from the danger/him. This world is yours for the taking and nothing can stop you but try not to walk alone at night.
I found myself overwhelmed by all of it last night while reading this sensationally true and heartbreaking piece by Olivia Messer on The Barbed Wire. Then, as fate would have it, I also watched the second episode of English Teacher (which is so good, seriously) and was able to have a therapeutic laugh during a very well done and hilariously true montage about what women and girls deal with which included this:
Watching, Reading, Listening
English Teacher, as noted above. I also watched So I Married An Axe Murderer as my comfort movie when I was struck with some kind of unpleasant stomach issue my first night here. It really holds up. Bette and I watched Jurassic Park together for the first time a few weeks ago and it was SO. GREAT. She was terrified. But in a fun way. Especially validating after she claimed it was "boring" ten minutes in...
In books, I read The Most in a day or so. My mom read it while she was here and we talked about it a lot. I'm dying to talk about it with others, too, so please reach out. I think...maybe it's mid? Or is it great? IDK! I was much more concrete in my view of The Very Secret Society of Irregular Witches. A real cozy treat of a book. No sharp edges, no notes. Just lovely. I'm reading Swamplandia! now on the recommendation from a friend and I'm very, very much enjoying it.
I'm not listening to anything new. I'm 44 years old.
Lifting
A pretty heavy carry-on that is now heavier thanks to the books I bought from the comic store around the corner from my hotel (which was staffed with lovely people who indulged me and let me brag about being married to Spencer).
Ingesting
Some unreasonably delicious gyoza from Ryo Sushi, our favorite Szechuan, some Dairy Queen and my first-ever Jersey Mike's sandwich after pool time upstate with Bette, Fan Fan donuts thanks to Kate, 50 mg Vyvanse; 20 mg Prozac; birth control.
Struggling
To not panic-buy so much. Before Michigan, I flipped and got this suitcase so I wouldn't have to deal with bringing a stroller. Was it great? Yes. Was it necessary? No.
However, I will share that last week I was in my usual pre-trip anxiety spiral which was manifesting in a hyper-focused mission to find the perfect personal item bag to reflect who I am in This Very Moment. I agonized over the Calpak Luka, the Away Everywhere and a weekender from my forever-stan, LeSportsac (editor's note: Poshmark has a LOT of great old Lesportsac). In the end, dear reader, I did not buy a new bag. I took this bad/practical boy which doesn't have a trolley sleeve but that's fine BECAUSE MY NEW SUITCASE HAS A SEAT FOR IT. Poetic, is it not? This is growth. Congratulations will be accepted in the form of thumbs-ups, encouraging comments and gift certificates for any of the brands mentioned above.
Buying
A youth on the Internet told me to buy barn coats so I did. I'm also currently testing out whether I can be a waffle towel person since they dry so quickly and our towels can get a bit...musty...in the summer. Finally, I took the plunge back to 1994 and became a Barnes and Noble member while purchasing of several books for Bette, Sylvie and I in West Nyak (including this perfect book that Sylvie is mildly interested in and I am obsessed with).
Creating
Actually, I watched Zainab create a lovely painting at our place this weekend. So I created the environment for creation, I guess.
Fixating
On getting back into routines with Bette heading back to school and travel on hold for a bit. My Capricorn-rising, ADHD-laden ass is dying to get back into some good, old fashioned predictable patterns.
Avoiding
A lot but less than I used to, which I think is progress.
Reader, I Pinned It
Still trying to find my vibe for Fall 2025. Some examples here, here and here. Daydreaming about making one of these soon and I've probably pinned this five times but I keep doing it because I'm terrified of losing the recipe for this perfect dressing. This salad is so good and only gets better after a few days in the fridge, especially dressed.
